As reported in the Asian Correspondent last week, New Zealand tops the list of countries considered safest in the world, according to the Global Peace Index (GPI). The GPI is a relatively new concept and is an attempt to measure the relative position of nations’ and regions’ peacefulness according to factors such as race relations, defence spending, diplomacy, internal conflict, population integration and social cohesion, efficiency and accountability of government, regional integration, school truancy rates, corruption, freedom of the press and respect for human rights.

This is New Zealand’s second year in a row at the top of the table and is largely due to the nation’s good race relations and non-engagement in military conflicts, which probably accounts for its very low defence budget.

However, there are other factors ignored by the GPI that both argue for and against New Zealand as being the safest country on Earth. For example the GPI takes no account of the natural dangers that exist in Aotearoa, Land of the Long White Cloud.

There is no doubt that New Zealand is a very peaceful place. Apart from there being calm and order on the streets, you will also find that there is almost no animals that are venomous or really dangerous, especially when compared with its closest neighbour, Australia. Ranked 19^th on the GPI, Australia also has the top 10 most venomous and dangerous snakes in the world, venomous spiders, sharks, crocodiles, dingos, killer jellyfishes, and the list goes on and on. Whereas in New Zealand, probably your only chance of meeting your maker through animal misadventure is being stung to death by bees, but even the bees in New Zealand seem calmer. This all means that you can venture into the great outdoors with absolutely no fear that any animal will bite you, with the exception of course of mosquitoes, which are actually not mosquitoes at all but cute Kiwi pups that have rediscovered the joy of flight.

But peace and serenity are fleeting when it comes to animals bleating.

At last census date there were 4.4 million people and 47.2 million sheep in New Zealand and this is where the GPI starts to fail miserably. With a ratio of 10:1 this makes every New Zealander a shepherd, (and every sheep nervous), and helps to explain the great social discord between sheep and humans. How else do you explain the outrageous cost of a lamb sandwich in New Zealand? No, the integration of human and sheep populations has never been a success in New Zealand, and great animosity still exists in the sheep population over the success of Footrot Flats: The Dog’s Tale and the bat shirt boring Slice of Heaven song made famous by the NZ anarchist Dave Dobbyn.

But wait there’s more.

There are quite a few introduced animal species to New Zealand, including the Australian possum, which although protected in Australia is considered a pest in New Zealand and are hunted down with the same zeal Australian’s target cane toads. At last census date there were more than 30 million possums in New Zealand that chew through 9,000 tonnes of native vegetation a night and with no natural predator, possums are causing great unrest across "the ditch" - that’s the expanse of water protecting OZ from NZ - leading to the imminent prospect of all out war between our two great nations.

And then there is the Rudd effect.

The Rudd is a common coarse fish found in still waters, rivers and canals - I am not making this up. Rudd were illegally introduced into New Zealand in the 1960’s and have been actively spread around the country. They have the potential to irreversibly damage indigenous ecosystems - just like ours!

Morphologically, this species is very similar to the Roach, (of the fish not the cock variety), with which it can be easily confused. It can be identified by the yellow eye colour. The eye of the Roach has a big red spot above the pupil that can be more or less conspicuous. The Rudd is a surface feeder with an upward pointing mouth allowing it easier access to food high in the water. Rudd prefer clear waters rich in plants - that’s organic matter as opposed to "plant and equipment". They also mine aquatic vegetation for nutrients and hunt for living prey in the upper levels of the ecosystem - de javu anyone?

The Rudd therefore, is one of the most dangerous creatures on the planet and if only we could get the GPI to recognise this, we, the Australian people, may leap frog New Zealand as the most peaceful place on Earth. That is of course if they would take our Rudd too!

Just for the record, Iraq still came in at the bottom of the GPI list in 149th place, (for the fourth year running), behind nations like Somalia (148), Afghanistan (147), Israel (144) and South Africa (121). The United States of America came in at 85 and the United Kingdom 31.

Gary Hatwell Executive Chairman